Going shopping on East Nanjing Road as an obviously new and oblivious American meant being constantly assaulted by men and women who thought I was a prime customer for sexy massages. I said the phrase "Buyao, xie xie!" (No want, thank you!) dozens of times that evening. It became my new favorite phrase.
After a couple hours of almost exclusively saying "Buyao, xie xie," I saw a twentysomething Chinese lady making eye contact with me, and striding purposefully in my direction. When she got close enough, my practiced reflexes kicked in, and I preemptively said "buyao!"
Her: "Buyao what?"
Me: "Uhhhh.... massage."
Her (shocked and offended): "NO! No massage! Why you think I give massage?!"
I don't know if I've ever seen someone look more horrified. So, I did what came most naturally to me. I apologized profusely, gave her one of the more awkward hugs of my life, and walked away without making eye contact.
Oops.
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