Monday, September 10, 2012

You want pretty young girl massage! You want!

Going shopping on East Nanjing Road as an obviously new and oblivious American meant being constantly assaulted by men and women who thought I was a prime customer for sexy massages. I said the phrase "Buyao, xie xie!" (No want, thank you!) dozens of times that evening. It became my new favorite phrase.

After a couple hours of almost exclusively saying "Buyao, xie xie," I saw a twentysomething Chinese lady making eye contact with me, and striding purposefully in my direction. When she got close enough, my practiced reflexes kicked in, and I preemptively said "buyao!"

Her: "Buyao what?"
Me: "Uhhhh.... massage."
Her (shocked and offended): "NO! No massage! Why you think I give massage?!"

I don't know if I've ever seen someone look more horrified. So, I did what came most naturally to me. I apologized profusely, gave her one of the more awkward hugs of my life, and walked away without making eye contact.

Oops.

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